Thursday, April 7, 2011

Idol Review: Top 9

Just so you know right off the bat, this is the last Idol Review I will be writing. Now, before we get to the obvious, here is a list of everything from this week that deserves... THE SLAP!
  • Haley & Lauren, the pathetic last pair of girls standing, for their never-ending terrible song choices
  • James for letting what the three stooges judges say go to his head & allowing himself to believe that he is actually some kind of second coming of Adam Lambert with the ability to sing something that doesn't hide his complete lack of tonal quality
  • Stefano, not only for HIS never-ending terrible song choices, but equally terrible execution
  • Jennifer Lopez, if you don't criticize the bad performers, then you can't give suggestions to the good performers because at that point, anything that isn't a straight-up compliment is taken as a negative critique
  • All three judges for wasting the save on Casey (primarily)

I could be meaner, but most of America & I finally seem to be on the same page... it just took Pia being eliminated to get there. In some ways, this is the worst elimination the show has ever seen. It is most comparable to that of Jennifer Hudson, who was able to bounce back, but of her own accord--no thanks to Idol. Not only that, but she was basically the reason the save came into being... & the judges go & waste it on a guy--because we don't have enough of those left. In addition to, but even more importantly than just for entertainment purposes, this is why a judging panel without Simon Cowell ultimately just does not work. You have to have someone on the panel who is able to make sure that the talent gets its due credit & is able to stick around long enough that 1) people don't stop tuning in & 2) a contestant worthy enough to win actually makes it to the finale so as to ensure a successful recording artist comes from & adds to the legacy of the show. After three straight seasons of forgetful white male winners, with the season's best voice--a female, imagine!--getting eliminated tonight in ninth place, American Idol has officially had it. As for me, I've made it through the incredibly premature elimination of Jennifer Hudson. I've made it through Jasmine Trias outlasting LaToya London. I've made it through my favorite contestant ever Vonzell Solomon getting kicked off the week before the finale in favor of ..Bo Bice.. & never getting the record deal she was *sure* to score. I've made it through Melinda Doolittle getting kicked off the week before the finale in favor of Blake Lewis. I've made it through season-long favorites David Archuleta & Adam Lambert getting beaten by nowaday nobodies. I even made it through last season! And now they kick off Pia & leave us with this pathetic eight (7 + Jacob)?! I've had it. I'll find a way to keep up with Jacob...

...until he gets kicked off... probably next week 1) because Idol has now completely turned off everyone who has always watched the show & appreciates talent, & 2) because he's the best singer left. Other than that, for the last time, enjoy the wonderful Pia:

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